Sunday morning I woke up with a stuffy/runny nose and feeling kinda groggy. I lounged in bed for awhile, hoping I’d feel better before work. I developed a fever and chills by the time I had to go off for my shift, but I headed out anyway. It was cold and raining, and with my fever I was bundled up pretty well. I was also moving as slow as molasses, and the parking garage was packed, so I had to park on the top floor outside… getting half-soaked as I crawled into the mall. I was in the store all of a few minutes before I felt nauseous enough to go hide out in the bathroom. Nothing happened, most likely just from hunger/nasal drip/shivering/aliens… but I was in no shape to do anything productive, so I hobbled back to my car and headed home. I had someone cover my early truck shift the next morning, too, so I didn’t have to worry about it. Back at home I ate a plain burger, and ended up feeling better stomach-wise, and the fever eventually lessened a bit.
Then my phone rang.
I jumped a little, but it was an odd area code… and I’m more than used to what THOSE are ;). A moment later, though, there was a voicemail.. so I curiously gave it a listen. It WASN’T someone seeking out Verizon, after all – and as the message from the OkCupid girl informed me, my date proposal had been accepted. I gave her a call back, and we talked for about half an hour. I sounded half-dead, so decided to let me go and rest. Funny thing is, if I hadn’t been home sick, we wouldn’t have talked.
Not that I’d prefer the physical illness I dealt with this week just for that.
Sunday night also brought the premiere of Mad Men, after a too-long hiatus. It felt… odd. There were some great moments, but this world almost felt tired – as if it’s ready for something revolutionary to drop into their lives and shift the whole balance. Who knows.. maybe I was just allergy-stoned :).
Monday I lounged around for most of the day. I felt a little better than I did the day before, so I followed through on my weight-lifting venture. I was physically out of it, so that didn’t help, but definitely overestimated a bit on how much I should lift. It felt good, though. I headed out for my night class, bundled and packed with tissues, and sniffled my way through a test before coming home.
Tuesday I woke up feeling worse than the day before, but not quite like Sunday. I also started to realize that my muscles were going to be sore from the workout. That’s a good thing, and I’ve missed it, but doesn’t quite feel as good when one is already tired and sore from allergy violation. I made it to my afternoon class fine enough, though I was still moving like a very old man. The previous night I’d started thinking about relationships and a number of my personal issues, and that afternoon I continued thinking about the upcoming date, thinking about how much I want kids down the line… but how little I would want to pass along my unhealthy genes. Obviously it’s just a first date, but this started a thought-process that led to dour places. My evening class was a very welcome treat, though. I walked in like a zombie, but there were some fun times had. The class split in half, and each group went around their own circle with every person saying something they liked about a particular individual in the circle… then we moved on to the next person. When it got to me, it was actually some nice stuff, so that was cool. I said I liked one of the guys’ eyes, which drew quite a laugh.. especially since I’d earlier answered the Question of the Day about my favorite sport to watch being (since I don’t like sports) strongmen competitions.. just because they’re so insane. The highlight came from the gal next to me, to whom I had previously said I liked that she made me laugh. When it got to one of the guys near the end of the group, I said I liked how much he’d remembered about everyone from throughout the semester. The girl next to me groaned, obviously unhappy that I had taken what she was going to say. On the spot, she stumbled for what to say before uttering, “I like that you’re Caucasian.” I laughed until I cried… and then kept laughing about it all night.
Oh, and as part of my debbie-downer attitude that’d been brewing, I chose to face my original disinterest in the new phone game, Draw Something. It’s not an easy game for someone who dislikes imperfection, since it’s next to impossible to draw anything that doesn’t look completely crappy and stupid on there… so I was even getting down on myself for a silly little phone application drawing ;).
Wednesday I woke up really feeling my sore muscles. It seems that my body was too worn out and busy fighting off allergies to bother repairing my worked muscles. I barely made it to my afternoon class, but I had to turn in a paper, so there was no question about it. I didn’t last long before having to leave. By this point, I’d been beating myself up pretty bad about who I was and wasn’t. This little date, along with some disappointing actions Monday night (note to self, 82 day streak ended) that didn’t do much to raise my confidence, really stirred up so many of my old, classic troubles: compromise, poor self-esteem, the imperfections of relationships… it all flooded in. Just about everyone I talked to about the date also ended up in conversation about my new hesitation of said date. Of course, she knows of this website.. so in case you decide to come by and see this (Hi), it’s not you – it’s me ;). I wasn’t going to cancel, though, by any means… just had to go through some stuff.
I skipped my Thursday afternoon class, since I was pretty worn out. Don’t worry… I’m not really missing much by not being in these classes. I gave the girl a call, and was greeted by a pretty excited “Hi, Mark!” I felt like a bit of a heel for how much she seemed to be looking forward to it compared to how stupid I’d been feeling. She was waiting to meet her family at Disneyland for the day, and I had to go to work, so we didn’t talk long – but set up the details for Sunday. I actually was scheduled to work Sunday morning, but I traded with someone who needed to, and took this Thursday afternoon shift. I’ll be glad to rest up a little before heading out for the date. As I walked into the mall, I laughed as I glanced to my left and saw an old man shuffling along in the opposite direction just as slowly and awkwardly as I was. It was actually a pretty decent shift, and I survived easily enough. I’d broken down Wednesday afternoon and taken allergy pills, and day 2 found me feeling a LITTLE better… so I’m not sure if it was the pills or not, but still.
After Friday night’s closing shift all but killed me, I did nothing Saturday but rest. Well, not NOTHING. I took a shower and shaved (if you know how I end up looking after being under the weather, you know I don’t do either of those until I’m better), but I still didn’t feel great. A little better all the time, but not amazing. I’ve yet to love Draw Something, but it’s kinda like my book-reading challenge… I just have to do it – to give myself the chance. Though I’d started feeling a little more upbeat Friday, while I was browsing Netflix Saturday afternoon, I saw Good Will Hunting, and realized it was the perfect choice for my evening. I’ve never been abused, or anything, but the story of injured, closed-off self-loathing that needs to be broken down to let someone in… well, it was a very fitting cap to my week. The past 7 days felt like an entire month… by Saturday night it felt like it’d been ages since I was sitting in Denny’s with Korkie, excitedly talking about this new girl I was talking with online, and my plans to ask her out.
I have a full school-week ahead (test, papers), but it all starts today: first my date (which I’m going to have to retell to about 378 people when they excitedly ask how it went) and then the premiere of The Killing… though, unless the date ends early, I’ll probably miss that until later.
So, how was your week?