Lethargic, Lethargic Times

lethargic tired bored dog in truck

I haven’t done much in the past few weeks/month/longer.  And, when I say "haven’t done much" I mean that most of my time has been spent lounging around being unproductive in every way.  You might LIKE to think that it’s due to my previous post and a certain video game, but it’s not really.  There are extenuating factors, such as the seasonal allergies that have zonked me out and helped throw off my sleep schedule, however that really isn’t the crux of it.  I’ve been without a job since January, and since then I’ve slowly been watching my funds dissipate.  I’m fully intent on pursuing acting (and I am… just shot for an ad agency Tuesday night), but I can’t really devote money to it because I don’t really have much to spare… so I have to wait.  I have some web projects I’m interested in… but I have to wait.  EVEN more than the waiting, though (this post feels like a matryoshka doll, geeze), it’s that I have no responsibility.

Like a kid on summer vacation might become increasingly lazy, there really isn’t anything I have to do – so I fell into a horrible (and very disliked, by myself) habit of sleeping in and staying up late, like summer vacation.  I’ve lounged around for days without shower or shave because I didn’t have anywhere to go, like summer vacation.  The problem is that I’m not on a break from anything… I WANT something to do.  The worst part, is that I just can’t muster up energy when I have nothing to do… it’s a complete motivation killer.  My most creative times have always been while I’m in a job or school for this very reason.  I really need that structure and purpose, or else my days are listless, as they have been these past few weeks/month/longer.

lethargic bored dog life is tough

Tuesday I had a job interview and went to do the commercial shoot.  Wednesday I had another interview.  I’m at a point where I’m just waiting on this ONE little detail, and then I can be free to do so many things!  Haha, it’s really exciting, though… because as soon as it happens, like a bolt of lightning all of this energy is just going to shoot and I’ll be at auditions in LA (gas money is keeping me local right now), doing this and that.  I was talking with a friend the other day, and I commented how so much of my life is waiting on two things.  For the long-term, it’s meeting the right gal, but for this short-term, it’s just finding a decent job.  I’ve talked about the many things I’ve held off on spending money on, but few may realize that I actually have a prioritized list.. well, at least part of it is.  Let’s look at it, together!  It’ll be fun!!  (Just humor me… I’m unemployed and listless, remember?)

1. Droid.  OMG, I know.. Mark’s buying a cellular phone device??  Thaaaaaaat’s right.  I’ve actually hit a point in life where it’ll have some purpose, something I was never quite sure would happen.  I’m rather looking forward to it, though.

2. Wii.  Not for me, but for the family.  Still working on that relationship, as best I can.  Playing 4-person tennis in our living room should be a good step forward :).  Boxing may not.

3. Dinner for Nick.  Lobsters and steak with diamonds and gold, my champion… it’s the least I can do.

4. MarkMushakian.net.  Intent on taking over the Internet?  No… but very interested in having a one-stop place to send people I’m interested in auditioning for?  Yes.

5. Other acting stuff.  Paid casting sites, printed headshots, etc..

6. Savings.  When my car died in December, I had to borrow a hefty
amount of change to fix it, so I’m going to be paying that off as
quickly as I can… socking a pretty good amount away each month towards it.

excited happy dog running flying through grass

And as far as numbered listing goes, that’s it.  Really, though, the best part of having a semi-decent income again will be the freedom.  I have no idea when I’ll land a job (though I’m really pulling for one of the places I interviewed at this week), so I’m not free to just buy things on a whim.  Yeah, I bought Red Dead Redemption, but there are some things worth the sacrifice – even when pinching pennies ;).

What else is on my list?  Do you care?  Haha, I probably wouldn’t, either, but ya know what… I’m here, so why not?

  • A small bag from Saddleback Leather Company.  I carry a pen and camera in my pockets, now, but adding a cell phone will just be too much to carry before I start looking like M.C. Hammer, so I’m looking for something to carry my camera, a sketchpad, and some other miscellaneous things.
  • A pair of Vibram Five Fingers shoes for my morning walks.
  • Eyeglasses.  I’m getting old.
  • Sunglasses, while we’re at it.  For this and the prior, I’ll be perusing Allyn Scura.
  • Movies!  My goodness, movies.  I have barely purchased any new movies, nor have I been spending money at the theater, so I can’t wait to start up again.
  • Clothes.  As I talked about in my final style entry, it’ll be wonderful.  Or, should I say, FAAAAbulous!
  • Netflix.  Cheap, large catalogue, cheap.  I’m sold.
  • Rock Band tracks.  Especially with the forthcoming Rock Band 3 and its new guitars/piano, I’m looking forward to Queen, Oasis, and a plethora of other tracks I’m intending to buy.
  • Calling cards.  Just my name on a card, so as to keep it multi-purposed… add on ".net" with a pen for passing out at auditions, email, phone numbers – whatever.

It may not seem like much, but perusing this list makes me happy.  It’s a list of things yet to come, things that I’m really looking forward to but have yet to obtain.  Unlike the promise and excitement of a wife and kids (a recent evening babysitting really painted a beautiful image for me of an ideal future, too), these things are much more immediate and plausible.  Not that I can’t have a family of my own, of course, but this is a simple list of items that only require money – of which I will hopefully have some soon :).

So, how about you folks?  I know cash is tight all around, for various reasons, so do any of you have similar lists?  Even if it’s not a list of goods, do you have your eye on any kind of specific prize that helps keep you a little motivated… even when you’re not?

happy dog


About Mark Mushakian

Just a man who loves God, women, kids, dogs, movies, and every other lovely thing in life :)
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4 Responses to Lethargic, Lethargic Times

  1. Nick says:

    Haha Bree's sister Carly has those five fingered shoes. They are weird haha

    As for me I'm getting an iPhone 4 which is all I need 😉

    But I'm also looking forward to my dinner 😉


  2. Bree says:

    Ahhhh the creepy toe shoe sock typey thingies. Have fun with those 😉

    P.S. I love all the puppies. All the puppies…in ze world… Good list Mushy 🙂


  3. Mark says:

    Haha, I will… I've tried a more barefoot lifestyle, but this is going to be a great practicality.

    P.S. Thank you 🙂


  4. Mark says:

    It will be an amazing dinner… so good that – "…and then, he died."


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