From A Certain Point Of View

Obi-wan Kenobi from a certain point of view star wars

"The world is black and white… you add the gray."

I tell that to people all of the time, but am often rebutted on it.  It’s very simple, though.  Sometimes the gray is an excuse or sometimes its valid reasoning.  regardless, in a world of fact and truth, the gray is the element of humanity and emotion.  I may be a realist, but folks seem to often equate that as something that dismisses emotion.  They are not mutually exclusive.  Facts are facts, and that’s what I look at first.. but that does NOT mean that emotional responses aren’t natural.  In that realm of gray, though, there are two ways to look at things – positively or negatively.

CERTAIN people I know (hi… almost everyone) tend to focus on the negative.  I am constantly encouraging them to look at the reality of the situation to help calm their over-emotionally poor reaction to situations and events, however that is just as quickly followed up by a plead to find the positive.  I’m not saying to go around like a cheery dope ignoring that there are bad things in this world and that sadness happens (which is why an eye for realism is the first step), because unless you’re a former pot-head and/or your IQ can be counted on two hands, that type of mentality will crack.  It’s not genuine.  As an example, last Sunday I had a heck of a lovely day, but it could have just as easily been seen as a lousy one.  Cheers to Sarah and the fun we had – a farewell to The Omelette Parlor which closed on Monday, a walk around the swap meet, my quest for an Icee which led to a Frostee, and everything in-between.  Each one of those things, however, (plus more) could be looked at in a negative light… but why bother?

I was going to do a clever little entry where I’d list the fact of what happened (woke up at 4:30AM by a skunk smell and didn’t go back to sleep) followed by a negative (stupid skunks, now I’m running on just a few hours of sleep all day) and positive (dude, I saw one of my favorite guys I know as an actor in an Extenze commercial that I wouldn’t have seen if I wasn’t up at butt-crack AM) outlooks… but the whole thing was just not coming together well, so I’ve scrapped it.  Take a gander at that one example though, and you’ll what I mean.  Things aren’t always great, and they can be downright horrible sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you have to focus on it.  Try your darndest to look at the good things in life, and you’ll find your life a lot more livable.  You could be the richest and most miserable person in Manhattan, New York, or a happy little kid playing with a rock in Ziggawoozy, Africa… it doesn’t matter what you have, but how you enjoy what you do.  A little too greeting-card for ya?  Well, I love you anyway ;).  STILL too sappy?  Fine… here’s Marisa Miller:

Marisa Miller looking sexy as always

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About Mark Mushakian

Just a man who loves God, women, kids, dogs, movies, and every other lovely thing in life :)
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7 Responses to From A Certain Point Of View

  1. Nick says:

    The top part reads like a robot trying to sound human πŸ˜‰ Silly humans and your emotions. Life is data. Just compute it!

    But I think the missing point is that sometimes we just don't get to choose. It's uncontrollable. You can make a effort to stay positive, but even the miserable people have their reasons for feeling that way. Yes, most times it's self perpetuating. But it's also sometimes too difficult to avoid. Sometimes you just don't see it. Without a little therapy at least πŸ˜‰ Honestly, this post, while lovely and well intentioned, seems a little narrowed minded to your own perspective. And I'm well aware it has appeared on your WEBSITE haha

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  2. Mark says:

    Yes, yes, I'm a robot… hilarious and original πŸ˜‰ If THAT is what you take from my black-and-white quote, I'm a little disappointed.

    I pieced together the post from a failed one, so perhaps it wasn't clear… though I THINK it was. You're talking about an uncontrollable miserable outlook on life, and that's what my whole point was – that's a habit. I'll talk about my own unhappiness and frustrations on a regular basis – and I even specified that I'm not suggesting being blindly glib, but it's just about trying your best. In life there are good things and bad things… and my point was to not consistently focus on the bad. Like, with my 4:30am example… at first I was extremely unhappy – why wouldn't I be? Then I was able to see that infomercial, and it was amazing! My point is that I could continue throughout the day grumbling and annoyed that I woke up so early and in such an annoying way, but instead I was able to enjoy that infomercial enough that the negative of the day was no longer at the forefront of my mind.. I was then focused on the good and I enjoyed my day. Like I said – why bother focusing on the bad? It's not at all about ignoring genuine emotions… it's about going overboard.

    I know folks who ignore both sides of the spectrum – some who look at everything as positive and nothing is wrong (ignoring genuine sadness or pain) and some who look at everything with a hint of gloom (ignoring the possibility of good things)… I'm encouraging people to find a realistic middle-ground.

    I just re-read the post, and all of the points I was trying to make are there. I'm not sure if you took it as something else or if some other mood/situation was an influence, but give it another read – it's neither ignorant of reality nor narrow-minded. You mentioned that sometimes people "just don't see it" (in regards to a more positive outlook), and that's all this post was – an encouragement to keep looking for it πŸ™‚

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  3. Nick says:

    No I know. I just think sometimes it can come across a certain way. No harm done πŸ˜‰ I simply meant I think control might be near impossible for some people. Call it stubbornness or simply the culmination of a life's worth of horrible, horrible times πŸ˜‰ I know you very well so I know you want nothing more than to help people. I know it comes form a genuine and loving place. It just sometimes comes across a little preachy πŸ˜‰ And my robot bit was hilarious. HILARIOUS!

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  4. Mark says:

    Well, as long as we're at it (haha, all in the interest of self-understanding, don't worry), why did you see it as preachy? Anything can come across in any way, depending on who is doing the perceiving, so the curiosity in me has lil' Mark wondering why your thoughts went there?

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  5. Nick says:

    Haha who knows. Maybe it's simply the talk of black and white. A term and idea I have never been fond of (perhaps because of certain people I have known πŸ˜‰ Or maybe just what I perceive as a kind of certainty. I don't pretend to understand how everything and everyone works. Not that you are claiming to do so here. But I think if I gather that type of tone from something it rubs me the wrong way. Haha and now every time I post a comment Mark Mushakian shall say "how does that make you feel?" Haha Markmushakian.com just became a giant rorschach test. Perhaps that was the plan all along πŸ˜‰

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  6. Mark says:

    It's all.. part of the plan- Dunah-nunah nunah nunah nunah nunah!

    πŸ™‚

    But, seriously, folks.. I appreciate the answer. I'm in the same boat, as I'm sure we all are. Heck, it's taken me years to be able to respond to your original comment as calmly as I did (haha, my original reaction being a bristled "I'll gut you like a fish" defense), because what rubs ME the wrong way is being perceived incorrectly :).

    In other words, let's be BFF's πŸ™‚

    DUNAH nunah nunah nunah nunah…

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  7. Nick says:

    Agreed πŸ˜‰ a year or two ago we wouldn't have had this conversation because a) I wouldn't voice my opinion for fear of hurting feelings and b) you would have gone insane from it if I had haha

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