Oh, Giada

Giada de Laurentiis, that is.  No need for a bio, here, because if you don’t know of her all I have to tell you is that she’s a cook with shows on The Food Network.  I’ve mentioned her before in my very first slideshow, on the very topic I’m about to cover, but after catching a recent episode I figured it was time to formally broach the subject.

I first discovered her original show, “Everyday Italian,” many years ago.  I think we are all aware of the notion that “sex sells.”  It’s everywhere – movies, music, TV.  However, I was captivated when I discovered her show because I realized that this motto apparently even applies to cooking shows.  In fact, for Giada de Laurentiis, it seems to be the entire point of her show…

Giada is a nice looking gal.

Giada de Laurentiis nice on couch

See?  Lovely lady, and people seem to adore her food, too.  One may also notice that she has a very nice body, as well.

Giada de Laurentiis good body

There’s nothing wrong with that, either.  I mean, that top’s a little revealing for cooking, but hey, she’s a professional.  She must know what she’s doing.  It’s not like… um…

Giada de Laurentiis revealing brown dress

Hm, sensing a trend, yet?  She definitely knows what she’s doing ;).  It doesn’t just end at her wearing low-cut tops, either.  What good is a revealing outfit without the proper angles to show it off?  Her show specializes in not just one great sexy purposeful camera shot, but three!

First, is the most popular:  “The Reach.”  Most of her supplies are on the counter opposite her.  Giada isn’t a tall woman with long arms, so to grab these items she has to lean over in front of the camera.  That’s right.  Observe:

Giada de Laurentiis bending over

Giada de Laurentiis bending over

Giada de Laurentiis bending over

Giada de Laurentiis bending over

Giada de Laurentiis bending over

Are you hungry yet?  Yeah… me, too.  See, now THAT’S advertising!

Second, is something that has gone in and out of use over the years and between her different shows, but it’s even more blatant than “The Reach.”  It’s not as frequently used, yet much more powerful in selling this woman’s body for our enjoyment entertainment increased cooking knowledge.  This move I simply call “Oven Time.”  The one sample I have is one of the best worst, but the other occurrences of this move aren’t far off.  Observe:

Giada de Laurentiis bent over pizza showing big cleavage

I mean, come on!  LOOK at that!  Okay, you can stop looking now… STOP LOOKING!  This isn’t Spike TV or some 1-800 commercial that airs late at night during Wally George reruns.  This is a regular show on the freaking Food Network!  I don’t recall the adorable and hilarious Julia Child selling herself off this way…

sexy Julia Child Betty Boop photoshop

I’m sorry, Julia.  I’m really sorry.

The third and final move is a little something I like to refer to as “The Presentation.”  It’s the most obvious one there is, yet somehow, also the most subtle.  Contradictions!  It can happen when the final product is finished and she takes a bite of her creation, or it can happen when she’s measuring something.  On a wide shot, it may not be as obvious…

Giada de Laurentiis showing off food

Did you catch it?  Eh, you probably did, since I’ve been pointing out her chest to you this whole time, but in a normal show-watching experience, moments like that honestly feel very natural.  “The Presentation” really occurs in tight close-up camera shots.  Whether it’s to show off the food or to show what she is doing in detail, there’s always something lurking in the background in very plain view.  Observe:

Giada de Laurentiis measuring in front of chest

Note, the Food Network logo.  This isn’t something I zoomed in on.  This is the angle they presented on TV.

Now friends, if you haven’t watched the show, you may be questioning whether or not this is all by chance.  Sure, Giada wears fairly revealing tops most of the time, but these are all just still images.  Couldn’t I just be taking them out of context?  I certainly could, but I wouldn’t do that to you.  For any sceptics out there, though, here’s a little YouTube proof.  Granted, this is one of the most extreme examples of her “cooking skills” she’s ever shown off, but you’ll be able to see live-action occurrences of “The Reach” and “Oven Time,” along with another move that can’t be captured in still frames – “The Chop.”  Watch her cut something up quickly, and you’ll get it.

Oh, and I apologize for the filename on this clip – I didn’t upload it :).

To wrap things up, I don’t really want to hear any comments about my being hypocritical, sexist, or anything else.  This post is supposed to be hilarious, and besides – I gave you pictures of a good-looking woman.  I’m all for a woman looking nice.  I’m even fine with a woman looking, GASP, sexy.  Giada de Laurentiis may have the largest smile I’ve ever seen on a human being, but she’s hot, and I’m fine admitting that.  Really, though, let’s not dance around what you’re trying to actually sell us on your shows, Giada.  You know it, I know it, and now everyone else knows it.  So, let’s just all be happy and enjoy some hot woman teaching us how to cook, or something.

And Julia Child… I’m still really, really sorry.


About Mark Mushakian

Just a man who loves God, women, kids, dogs, movies, and every other lovely thing in life :)
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4 Responses to Oh, Giada

  1. Briggity Brak says:

    Is it weird that i stopped looking at her cleavage when she started talking about pizza?


  2. Mark says:

    Yes. Have yourself examined.


  3. Nick says:

    Um, new post please? I'm disappointed beyond belief.


  4. Pingback: Oh, Giada: The Movie! | www.MarkMushakian.com

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